Combating Parasites
Yesterday, James and I went grocery shopping with Reign, while Austin was at school. We try to avoid taking Austin shopping whenever possible, because he seems to be thoroughly bored shopping so there is a whole lot of complaining the entire time. Unless of course, we’re shopping for him. The day I get to go shopping with my little girl-er, maybe I’ll just borrow my friend’s 10 year old daughter. I don’t want to get James all going again. “You want to have a girl now? Let’s get on it!”
No.
Usually one of us pushes the shopping cart, while the other pushes Reign in the stroller, but this time I decided to carry him in my sling. Yes that’s right. I’m a ‘modern mom’, according to a very accurate quiz I took online one day in the midst of boredom. If you use a sling to carry your baby, instead of carrying on your hip, you are, in fact, a cool mom. It’s been awhile since I’ve used my sling and was unprepared for the difference in Reign’s physical activity while in it.
From the minute he was in it, he was twisting, turning, wiggling, trying to back flip out of it, all because he wanted to see, experience and touch everything in sight.
By the time we were in the store for 5 minutes, the coupons, and my grocery list I was holding in my hand were a slobbered on, crinkled ball of mush.
As were were navigating the aisles, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a woman trying to get my attention. When I took a better look at her, I thought, hmmm, where do I know her from? She kinda looks like she might be one of my distant relatives on my mom’s side? She recognizes me, so she must be.
She came around the corner. “I just want to tell you what a beautiful baby you have.”
Me: Oh, thank you.
Nope, not a distant aunt. A complete stranger. One who was admiring my baby. Good thing she didn’t know I was embarrassed for thinking we were related.
I should know better. From the moment I gave birth, it was never about me anymore. How egotistical of me to assume she wanted anything to do with me. I remember one time when Reign was about 3 months, and I ran into some people I know. They mentioned that they wanted to stop by one day to see the baby. I jokingly said, “just make sure to call first, so my hair isn’t sticking up, and I’m not in my pj’s when you come over.”
One of them responded with, “It’s not like it would matter. We wouldn’t be there to see you.”
How nice.
So now that Reign is 7 months, he is exercising his ability to move about. Trying to crawl, wriggle around. After he is fed a bottle, try burping the little guy. He actually turns, flips around, and walks up your stomach.
So I knew I was losing complete control of the sling situation. Since we didn’t want to go to the parking lot to get the stroller out of the trunk, I decided, let’s just put him in the front of the shopping cart. I’d never done it yet, but I thought, why not try it. It’s only covered in a gazillion germs.
As we started to push Reign in the shopping cart, he seemed to enjoy it. I went to grab an item off the shelf when out of the corner of my eye, I saw something tragic about to happen.
“DON’T LET HIM SUCK ON THE HANDLE!!!!!!” I hollered at James. Reign hadn’t yet, but was going for it.
James: I didn’t even notice.
Dear God. I’m a horrible mother. I’m letting my baby sit surrounded by parasites. We ended taking turns carrying him.
My grocery list, now almost impossible to read, was a list I compiled of items we needed if I was going to make several different meals throughout the next week. I was all pumped to get this stuff because after countless hours navigating recipes, I came up with several new ones I wanted to try.
James: You know this is going to cost a lot.
At least we have parts of coupons to lower our total. Providing the cashier makes special exceptions to customers wishing to use ripped up, drooled on, mushy coupons, that their baby was responsible for, all just to save a couple bucks.
At the end of it, we earned a free power blender because we spent so much money.
So there James.
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