Conspiracy
It’s a good thing my parents paid for my yoga classes. I would not pay someone to inflict pain upon me. This is how I feel this morning after my class last night.
My instructor had us do this crazy insane balancing pose against a wall while stretching body parts that definitely needed to be stretched, but did it have to hurt so much?
The pose consisted with us having our feet pointing straight ahead towards the wall. We then had to take our right leg and place our foot flat against the wall straight in front of us at as close to a 90 degree angle as possible. Keeping our feet straight and not bending our knees. Take our hands off the wall and place on our hips. Turn our torso to the right to stretch and bring out arm for longer stretch. Hold. Breathe. Smile. Repeat other leg.
Smile? I want to kill you. I was cursing silently in my head while trying to maintain my balance and keep the pose. The words going through my mind would embarrass a trucker.
This is a woman, sweet as pie, in her fifties and can probably put both of her legs behind her head.
I spoke with her after class because I have to make up for my first class I missed due to that viral thing I had.
Instructor: You can make up the class with any of our classes. You can even do the advanced class.
Me: Are you serious? I found out today just how weak I am with that wall pose we did. I was shaking the whole time.
Instructor: Yes, but the more we do it, the easier it will be for you. You just do what you can.
I’m starting to think she’s not as sweet as she portrays herself to be. It is a conspiracy against me. I think she secretly wants to see me in pain, and rub it into my face that she is a fifty-something who is in amazing shape, flexible and strong. And I am not.
Me: Well, what is this Body Rolling class?
Instructor: Oh, that is a fantastic class. It feels so amazing. Basically you incorporate yoga poses, but you do them on top of these small yoga balls, which rub out all your aches and pains in your muscles.
Body Rolling it is.
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